I find 2 things that are valuable about Nonviolent Communication (NVC): Connecting to ourselves by naming feelings and needs, and the empathy practice. But this is contrary to what many people think about NVC.
Many people want to learn it because of the belief that NVC will improve inter-personal connections. I disagree. Reason? Because that's not what I have seen.
The universal improvement that I have witnessed are self-connection, and empathy support when strictly follow its format. Connecting with the others through NVC has been a hit and miss experience for me and many that I know.
It’s not necessarily because we are not skillful enough to do so, but NVC's approach has its limits.
Human connection involves complex experiences, emotions, physical well-being and communications. Brené Brown’s new book, Atlas of The Heart, includes extensive research on psychology, medicine, language and communication, culture and social values. Her book not only articulates the perspectives on emotions, and feelings in between, but also makes it clear that over simplifying human experiences through language only isn’t going to work.
There is no doubt that NVC offers important values to our lives that everyone can benefit. But blowing it out of proportion may work directly against the change we are seeking to make in the first place.
When it gets way too overwhelming, asking this question might be helpful: what is NVC for?
