Telling the others do something that we want and benefit us only can be unsettling because we might get caught and being called as “manipulative”.
Telling our truth to the others can be scary too because we never know how it will land on the other end.
Both might end up with anger towards us.
Only we know the difference.
With the former, we might feel regret even guilty. But with the latter, we are grounded by connection to self that brings calmness and certainty.