When I first learned about nonviolent communication, I discovered a twist on what unmet needs meant. Initially, people believed that others needed to improve and change for our unmet needs to be met. Very few understood that every request we make to others to change and improve reflects what we need to change and improve ourselves.
For example, people who are outliers in their families often want their families to accept them as who they are. Acceptance is the request made to their families. It's not hard to imagine how that will go in real life.
But when we flip the table and realize the change isn't about others, but ourselves, we have the opportunity to make things happen for real.
So, what happens when we take the initiative to accept our family for who they truly are? Folks who are struggling with our career choices, our love interests whom we want to spend the rest of our lives with, or the place we have decided to move to, among other things?
When we accept our family and their struggles, we are more likely to show up differently and be more empathic and understanding.
Actions speak volumes. When we change ourselves, we help others change too.
