It's not hard to tell children what to do. In fact, that's the constant need children have to obtain certainty when they are around adults: tell me what to do, and I will succeed.
Making their own decisions, on the other hand, has become increasingly challenging. Because it could mean that they are wrong; it might not work; and it feels risky (the opposite of certainty).
Having recess at school isn't about autonomy; it's about compliance.
Studying hard isn't about autonomy, but competing for the reward.
Showing up in the classroom as who they think they should be, instead of who they truly are, isn't autonomy, but rather performance.
Having the opportunity to make choices from the abundance based on personal interests and taking responsibility for the consequences helps. It turns out that the scarcity for children isn't the lack of opportunities to comply, but rather the lack of opportunities to practice genuine decision-making and self-direction.
Autonomy becomes increasingly vital as they enter an adult world that demands independent thinking and personal responsibility.
